Sep 15, 2014

Fragments of letters. 1

July - I’m writing this sitting (literally) on my desk. Mine only for another week. I’ve never sit here. It has always been too full of stuff. But there is nothing now, nothing but a little mirror, my perfume bottle and few make up tools. A red lipstick, pale powder and a brush. I was in front of this window, few months ago. It is chill now too, cooler than an average July night. But of course, last time I had my cape/purple blanket on, now I’m wearing only shorts and a t-shirt. The old man of the opposite bulding, as always, is watching the tv, an action movie, and I can catch almost every word of it. No drunk guy. It isn’t green, this time. The night. The scent. It has the same color of my lipstick. It is asking for more, it is wishing for more. A friend send me an italian song I didn’t know before. It says something like “I began to dream with them, then the soul suddenly flew up. As a boy, you spy the kids playing and you get the urge to go out and try what you are missing, running on the grass, and you keep wanting more, and keep thinking how the hell do they catch their breath.” 

I’m reading some light contemporary novel set in LA and I miss you. My friend. 

This is being a strange summer. It’s extremely hot for a week, suffocating, and then suddenly everything becomes gray for another one. The sky, the light, the skin. And it rains, but not really, just few drops at a time. Few drops now, few drops who knows when. And in the meantime, you stand still, watching this gray sky, hoping he pours out everything once and for all. But it's like when you want to consolate a friend, and understand that he is not in the right mood to be consoled. And then, you wake up, or in the middle of the day, for chance, your gaze wonders out of the window, and you see a blue soft and sharp at the same time and every object has a new depth and every outline a new definition. It doesn’t last long, a day, maybe two. My mom loves to go to the beach, in those rare days. But for me, they are the ones in which the urge to see something else, to be somewhere else, grows and grows until it fills every corner of what I am. And so, I imagine to live in a tiny apartment in Amsterdam, where I’ve never been but for some reason seems a good place to stay. I would buy a bike, but I wouldn’t use it at start, an unknown city can be a little scary. But it wouldn’t last long, the fear.

Sep 14, 2014

And I knew if I had my chance that I could make those people dance.

The last photo set of Forlì.
My last night there.

Mela and Mattia playing with balloons in our apartment. 
One last group photo.
Bye Mattia.
A couple of the balloons we left on our street.
Me saying goodbye to our door.

Sep 11, 2014

What is going on?

Hi everyone. It has been a while since we talked. I posted several photos lately, but didn’t write much and not once I told you what was going on, a part for few phrases here and there. So, I hope you won’t mind this diary entry. 

I just spent my last semester in Forlì. It has been busy, but probably also the best of my three years at university. June and July in particular has been a hard time, with pages and pages to study every day and exams I desperately needed to pass. But my friends and I had also fun, walking around the city center, drinking (them) and taking photos (me) [x][x][x][x][x][x][x][x], talking about our future and telling each other bad, bad jokes. Mela and Ivano and I talked until the latest hours of the night and the earliest of the morning [x], until I left the apartment, my home for three years, for good. What a vivid last week I spent there. I had done the last exam (for the moment, at least) and some of my university friends graduated. [x][x] On the last night Mela and I tied balloons around the city. One for our faculty. One for the building where we had most of our classes. One for the man of the opposite building who uses to watch the TV the all night at full volume. 
I was the last one to leave the house. When Mela and I said goodbye we cried. And I cry again walking for the empty apartment alone, for the last time.

Since that Monday morning, I have been home for six, seven weeks. Not that counting the weeks has some sense, I will be home the whole year. The fact is that I had some exams behind (pretty common in Italy). I managed to do three of them, but for the forth one, French 2, I had to wait until january/february. Then I will graduate. Hopefully. Talking about French, I want to say that my French 1 mark is the worst of my entire carrier, but I didn’t know anything of French before and I studied all by my self so I don’t care, I am proud of my terrible grade. 
Having three exams in September, I spent August studying, a part for the Belle & Sebastian concert [x] and my birthday [x].

What about now? Well, on Monday I passed my second-last exam, as I said the last one will be at the start of the new year, and in October I’m going to do a IELTS exam since I need a certification of my English. I already know the next step, I only had to wait and work as hard as I can to be accepted where I hope to study. In the mean time, two days ago I started to re-organize my bedroom. Today I built with my mother the bookcase I received from my birthday. Maybe I’ll show you some pics when I will finish the operation, but that probably will need quite a while, so don’t wait for them any time soon.
Surely, I am not happy about this delay, but I don’t want to feel bad with myself about it. If I am a little behind is because I had few bad moments, mostly last year, and I decided that I and my serenity come first, no matter what. 

So I am home and I’m not sure for how much time. To be honest, the thought scares me a little. When I am here I sure don’t need to be worry about all the stuff I had to when I was living by myself. Buy the food, cook the food, trying to not spend too much for the food, clean the apartment, wash my clothes, ecc. My mother refuses to acknowledge that I spent most of the last three years away from home and that I can feed myself and all the rest. And honestly, I am taking advantage of that. This is of course a pro of being home. But it also feel as a step back, when I should go forward. Also, I don’t know why, but when I am here, in my beloved and too full of useless stuff bedroom, it’s like all the forces leave me. I am lazy (more than usual, anyway), and demotivated, and uninspired. I don’t want to feel this way for the entire year. I definitely have to find something to do, a part for studying English and French (and Dutch. Yep, I started to study a bit of Dutch). Any idea?

And that’s it. For the moment. I still have some photos of the last days in Forlì, if you don’t mind, and I am working on a couple of stories, so maybe you will read them soon (or later).

Now I’d like to read something of you. Write me something. I’m loosing the contact with the humanity. 

We are the last people standing at the end of the night

When my housemate Mela graduate, also our friend Elisa did. 
That evening she organized a party at her apartment and then we went outside. I avoided the photos with her friends, so these are the pics left.
Francesca graduated too. Congrats Fra.
They were drunk at this point.
Even more drunk.

"Lets see the sunrise," they said.

Sep 10, 2014

The boy with the arab strap

Around a month ago I went with my friend B at a Belle&Sebastian concert.
We had fun and I sung and danced the whole time. It was in the court of a fortress and the atmosphere was perfect. 

Few songs if you don't know them:

- I found the following pics online. From where I was I couldn't take any -

Have you been at some concert this summer?

ps. I finished my exams two days ago. I'm going to be more present here and I'm going to check all the blogs I hadn't time to check.